My Beginnings

I really, really, really, really wish there was a unofficial FMH chat board of some kind, where pretty much all the normal readers could hang out and discuss things in a more open forum. I'm not one to thread-jack, but I definitely have plenty to say! lol.

This is the introduction to my blog. Hope you like it? Or, you know, don't. That is cool too.

One day I was walking along, minding my own business (okay, well, as much as I ever do anyway) and a friend trotted up, looking rather deep in thought. "Hey Chris" I smiled "What's up?" He sighed, and I worried. "Can I ask you something Julia?...... Something about your church" the hesitance in his voice worried me. "Oh crap" I thought to myself. "What'd I do this time?". I turned back to him and replied with a strong voice "Sure, I'll do my best to answer your question."

"Well, uhm" he cleared his throat "I was just, uh, wondering, okay. So, I know that mormons don't have sex before marriage. But uhm, uh...what are the rules after marriage, uhm, with your spouse?"

He reeked of discomfort, and maybe I would have too, if I hadn't been prepared. My preparation wasn't your run of the mill say-your-prayers-read-your-scriptures-go-to-church though. I knew because I'm a frequent reader of www.theboard.byu.edu, the BYU 100 Hour Board.

I explained the church's official stance (it is between you, your spouse, and God) and pointed out the two golden questions (a--Is it potentially dangerous? b--Does it make either person feel objectified?). He gave a huge grin and thanked me, afraid it would be much worse (I think he said he had thought the only time we could do anything was to have children and anything else at all, even kissing, was forbidden). Anyway, I went back to the board post that had told me about this stuff (which I now suddenly can't find...meh) also talked about how highly debated it is within the church. It said that this had been hashed and rehashed on the interwebs, and linked several FMH, by common consent, and other bloggernacle-y sites.

I read them, thinking it was a simple topic... and I probably would have closed them and gone on with my day, but something caught my eye. It was a post about a woman, on FMH. It started simply, talking about how sexually frustrated she felt, and how sometimes she just felt like screaming. It discussed the importance the church puts on family, and how worthless she sometimes felt within the church as a single woman, with no perceptive suitors. And all of a sudden I felt like I had discovered a kindred spirit.

Then I started reading the comments. Many were so sympathetic, understanding. It was like I had finally found home. Some were doubtful ("Really? She is that desperate? Sounds more like a troll").... which just hurt, but I knew, like everyone out there it seems, they were just trying to help -.-

The few negatives though, were outweighed by the positives, a thousand fold. This was where I wanted to be.

You very well may not know me, I tend to lurk a lot, but I find the posts on FMH inspiriting, and very thought-provoking.

And that is me in a nutshell!


Edit: Rereading this, it sounds like I feel the same and necessarily run around wanting to scream and or marry the first guy I see. It isn't really that... more like... ok. If you've studied any child development/psychology, you might be familiar with the "latency period" which takes place (roughly) between ages 6 and 11. In theory, the child wants nothing to do with sex, or anything related to it. But sometimes, within the church, it seems like we're just expected to stay there until the day we get married.